Beers For Your Non-Beer Drinking Father

Remember how I told you in my Mother's Day blog last year that my dad was a Lindemans Peche drinker, and that I didn't really want to talk about it? Well, after many sessions of group family therapy, I can tell you that, yes, it's true. My name is Christina and my father drinks girlie beers (and the crowd says "Hi Christina.") It's fine. I'm okay. I've learned acceptance and I've come to realize that my father is my father. He is who he is, and I'm not going to change him. I'm sure that not even public humiliation in the form of a blog post from his only daughter will get him to start really drinking beer.

From what I've gleaned from my time on this earth, is that most people don't have a difficult time getting their fathers to drink beer. There's the game watching, the pool playing, the fight watching, the car washing, the golf, the barbecues. Nope, not my Dad. I mean, he does some of those activities, just none of them are accompanied by a beer.

Using lines like, "If you loved me, you'd attend," I have forced him to come to some of my beer events, however. And at those events he will begrudgingly try the beers that I give him. And to my astonishment, he's liked a few of them. And so, without further ado or fanfare, I will list the beers that you can give to a Peche Lambic drinking, comfortable with his own masculinity and not needing to drink beer to prove it kind of dad.

I hope this list is useful to the 5 of you who may or may not exist on the planet Earth.

Malheur Biere Brut - De Landtsheer - Buggenhout, Belgium, 11% abv.
The fact that my Dad liked this beer shocked the hell out of me almost as much as it did when my mother loved Jahva Imperial Coffee Stout. I thought that this biere de champagne would be way too high alcohol content for him, but he loved it. I should have guessed because the malt and spice level is quite high that he would have. The only problem is that this beer is quite expensive - for a beer - over $40 at the store. And since my Dad will only eat at restaurants that accept coupons and give free refills, the biere de champagne that I gave him for last year's Father's Day is still sitting unopened like a frosty trophy in the fridge in his garage in Temecula, CA. Its being saved for an unknown special occasion that will never come. And no, he's not trying to age it.

The Lost Abbey Lost and Found Ale - San Marcos, CA - 8% abv.
This was another beer that my father actually enjoyed. It was paired at the time with a really great blue cheese with raisin bread and walnuts, so my dad was all over it. Clovey and spicy with hints of dark fruit - figs and plums. I think I'm getting it. My Dad likes malty, spicy beers with an undisputed high alcohol content. Okay, now I'm starting to understand!

Aventinus - G.Schneider & Sohn - Kelheim, Germany - 8% abv.
Bill also dug this delicious malty beer as well. Aventinus is "the world's oldest top-fermenting wheat doppelbock." Again spicy, and again with notes of raisins, dates, figs, prunes, bananas and cloves. This beer is deceptively light-bodied on the palate but will kick your ass.

And that's it. Those are the beers my Dad likes so far. Please wish me good luck as I continue my quest to convert him - and my mother. Luckily my brother drinks beer, but I can guarantee you that his fridge is stocked with a 12 pack of Coors Light. What's a beer chick to do? But I digress. What I meant to say is Happy Father's Day to my non-beer drinking, non-reading my blog Dad. I love you!

CATHERINE THE GREAT - THE 1ST BEER CHICK

Did I tell you that I'm dating a hot Russian guy now? Oh yes, I am. And for some reason, I seem to be drinking a lot more Russian Imperial Stout (RIS). (I know there's a real dirty joke in there somewhere, but let's not go there.) Of course, hearing the name of this beer, one assumes that it comes from Russia. But you know what happens when you assume?

NOT from Russia, this amazing style of beer is actually a British invention. The Anchor brewery (no not the one in San Francisco) were the originators of this strong dark and rich beer that is generally much maltier, smokier and stronger than other English or Irish style stouts. Why Russia then?

Well, supposedly, in days of yore, the Empress of Russia Catherine the Great loved the style and demanded large quantities of the ebony elixer shipped to the Baltic and beyond. Some say that the beer was fortified with a high percentage of alcohol in order for it to make this long journey over land. Fortunately the beer lasted the distance and Catherine's love of this stout made it immensely popular not only in her native Russia, but in England as well. In fact, it is said that her support of the beer way back in the 1780's is what has contributed to this beer style's popularity even today.

I love this style, but previously, I really only drank it in the winter, when the alcohol would warm my bones when the temperature would dip below 60 degrees (c'mon, I'm in L.A.) But now that I've been concentrating on things Russian, I realize that it's a wonderful year-round beer! Here are some of the Russian Imperial Stouts I've been imbibing as of late:

Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout
North Coast Brewing Company - Ft. Bragg, CA
Tsarina Alexandra, the last Tsaritsa of Russia is known for her destructive and notorious friendship with the mystic Grigori Rasputin. And while this Old Rasputin from North Coast might be dark, there's no hidden agenda here! This beer is like espresso, with secondary notes of bittersweet chocolate and licorice. Its deliciously deceptive at 9% abv. This is my go to RIS.

Ten Fidy Imperial Stout
Oskar Blues Brewery - Lyons, CO
Thick, black and super creamy, this RIS is huge. Huge coffee and huge chocolate this beer has a hot malty dark molassas sweetness. Lots of smokey goodness in this beer. Oh, did I tell you that its in a can? Gotta love that! 9.5% abv.

Dark Lord Imperial Stout
Three Floyds Brewing Co. - Munster, IN
Super rich with big chocolate and vanilla, this beer comes in at a huge 13% abv. Super sweet and smooth, this beer has roasty and smokey notes almost like charcoal, with - dare I say - notes of soy sauce (but in a good way.) Virtually no head, this beer is like engine oil (also in a good way.) Darkness is spreading ladies and gentlemen.

The Czar Imperial Stout
Avery Brewing Company - Boulder, CO
Once again, this RIS shines with flavors of cocoa, bittersweet chocolate, caramel, toffee. Big espresso flavors with tons of sweet dark fruit. This one actually has a nice hop presence providing a bit of a balance. But its still a sweet, creamy, fruity, smokey dream. 11% abv.

I know I said it before, but it's important to remind y'all that Russian Imperial Stouts generally have a very high alcohol content. We're talking 10% and upwards. You know I'm okay with that, but be careful when you're drinking these, as you can easily end the night ass up. As a matter of fact, these beers used to be marketed using the tagline "Strong as a double scotch, less than half the price." YEAH! In this economy, we need some more bang for our buck. Speaking of the Russian hottie...


Get Beer for Chick's Feed

Harpoon - Big Bohemian Pilsner (Leviathan Series)

You may have noticed that I don't often review pilsners on this site. What is a pilsner, you ask? It is a Czech beer style that is the basis for most of our American domestic beer (Budweiser, for example, is a pilsner). Pilsners are characterized by their clear yellow color (something that Greg Koch would probably label "fizzy yellow beer") and thin, dry taste. They're the beer equivalent of a mild white wine.